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10 Hallmarks of a Great Lover
Chapter 3
7. Humor
Ok, let's face it - we can't make love like movie or porn stars
all of the time. Actually, who would really want to? It just isn't
real. Our bodies make strange noises at seemingly inappropriate
moments, balance often escapes us, our partners make funny faces
and sometimes our best laid erotic plans lead to comical disaster.
As a compatible sense of humor was probably one of the top things
you were looking for when you selected your partner in the first
place, does it not stand to reason that it would be an asset in
the bedroom? Sex doesn't always have to be serious; in fact, some
of the best and most memorable sessions are often those which aren't.
Humorous, playful, light-hearted sex is an excellent tool to create
a deeper sense of intimacy with your partner and is also a great
way to introduce elements of your fantasy lives into reality. While,
you may have a hard time letting your partner know in earnest that
you have a bit of a fetish in a given area, it is far easier to
introduce it in seeming jest in order to gauge their reaction, which,
if negative, leaves no harm done and no feelings hurt.
8. Creativity
As far as we're concerned, a day without some serious thought given
how you might improve, not just maintain, your relationship with
your partner, is wasted. If you are not moving forward, you are
falling back… there is no standing still. If you have
established a status quo, then you are indeed in retreat as far
as your relationship is concerned. This especially holds true of
your sex lives. It is very easy to become stuck in a rut… the
stresses and demands of modern life often seem to preclude effort
in support of improving intimate activities that are often taken
for granted. However, as the current economy dictates that our vocational
security is tenuous at best, would it not be wiser to devote some
energy to something which, if you do, has a significantly better
prospect for permanence? How many of us on our death beds will sigh
with regret at the fact that they wish they had worked more?! So,
in light of this, let's take some time and invest it in keeping
things fresh in our relationships shall we? While this site's objective
is to provide you with many tools to do exactly that, it is only
a starting point. Who knows what your partner might enjoy more than
you? If you are communicating well with them, nobody! Someone
gave you that brain for a reason - use it!
9. Fluidity of Motion
Although as mentioned in #7, you cannot always be assured of pulling
off your sexual gymnastics with the precision you may have intended,
it is also important to work on your moves so that there is less
awkward interruption in the proceedings which might result in either
loss of erection or orgasm potential. Many females are particularly
vulnerable to a rapid loss of progress toward orgasm when there
is a break in the action. In order to prevent this situation and
additionally add spice to your sex life, you should put some time
into studying transitions between positions. What homework assignment
could be more fun?
10. Fitness
Obviously, not all of us are getting calls from Calvin Klein to
become their latest underwear model. However, that being said, there
are certainly many things to be said for maintaining a reasonable
level of fitness as applies to sexuality. Certainly, it can be supposed
that fit people are more sexually attractive, but as this is determined
by cultural norms and additionally subject to media influence, let's
concentrate on the tangible aspects of fitness. Having a good measure
of cardio-vascular activity in your life will not only make you
feel better in general, but increase your sexual stamina as well.
Additionally, good cardio fitness has been linked to decreased incidence
of Erectile Dysfunction.
There are also many positions and transitions between them that
require a significant measure of strength and flexibility; so, obviously
maintaining a decent level of fitness will reduce any limits on
your options and permit you to add new colors to your sexual palette.
Be sure to check out our health section
for some great tips on how to stay in shape.
If you want to become a better lover, paying attention to all the
points above will certainly serve you in good stead. You will find
your overall relationship with your partner will improve, and we'll
wager you'll discover not only the quality of your sex in your life
increasing, but the quantity as well!
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