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[1, 2, 3]
10 Hallmarks of a Great Lover
Chapter 2
3. Comfort
This attribute is an extension of the previous, confidence. If
you are confident in yourself, you should be comfortable with your
body. Let's face it, everyone has minor flaws, things that they
would rather their partner not be made aware of. But if everyone
has them, then certainly your partner does too. So why worry about
them? You definitely have no control over how many freckles you
have, the size of your sundry parts, your scent or the sounds your
body makes etc. - so why concern yourself with them? You simply
cannot have truly satisfying, hot, animal sex if you are preoccupied
with how your breasts are falling around your armpits or if your
penis is as big as her last boyfriend's. Let's once and for all
just live in the moment and throw all that self doubt and loathing
out the window, shall we? Make love with all the lights turned up
bright; scream and moan to your hearts content; give your lover
a spanking when they're being naughty - whatever feels right at
the moment. Do so, and you'll definitely discover such significant
improvements in both your and your partner's sex lives you'll wonder
what you were ever really worried about in the first place.
4. Selflessness
If you wish you were having better sex than you are currently enjoying,
ask yourself if you are truly listening to your partner and responding
to their desires. What does this have to do with it? Well, if you
are actively working to satisfy your partner's needs, chances are
that they will be more than willing to respond in kind. I suppose
this harkens back to our initial point on communication… if
you aren't certain of what your partner's desires are… you
aren't effectively communicating with them. On the other hand, if
you are bending over backwards (figuratively or literally) to satisfy
your partner, while additionally communicating your needs effectively
to them, and find yourself still unfulfilled, perhaps it is time
to re-evaluate your pairing.
5. Openness
If you think you are already among the world's greatest lovers
- or that you have nothing left to really learn, you have just proved
that you aren't. One of the defining attributes of a truly great
lover is their commitment to becoming great. That's right,
while you may have had great moments in past, you have to be aware
that the only constant is change, and your ability to respond to
it as concerns your partner's desires is an indicator of your potential
for greatness. Just as your needs evolve, so do those of your partner's.
You have to be willing to try new things… though they may seem
unusual. Let's take a look at that word, "unusual". Why
does it have a negative connotation? All it means is a departure
from the norm… which as concerns sexuality is a good thing.
In fact, an aspiring "great lover" does his or her best
to avoid the establishment of a "norm" in the first place.
While you may love pizza, it certainly would be tiring to eat everyday.
It may even become tedious and boring to eat every Thursday…so
mix it up! As this site is dedicated to providing you with the tools
to do exactly that, you have no excuse!
6. Respect
Clearly, if you have been paying attention to the earlier points,
you cannot help but to have respect for your partner and their wishes
as concerns sexuality. Without respect, you have no desire to be
selfless, listen and respond to your partner's needs, or be open
to new ideas they may wish to introduce. Yet respect goes a little
further than this. You have to acknowledge and adhere to your partner's
boundaries, regardless of how conservative you may feel them to
be. You may certainly communicate your desire to "push the
envelope" as it were, but to impose your will upon someone
who is unprepared or unwilling is definitely not among the hallmarks
of a good lover.
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