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10 Hallmarks of a Great Lover
Chapter 2

3. Comfort

This attribute is an extension of the previous, confidence. If you are confident in yourself, you should be comfortable with your body. Let's face it, everyone has minor flaws, things that they would rather their partner not be made aware of. But if everyone has them, then certainly your partner does too. So why worry about them? You definitely have no control over how many freckles you have, the size of your sundry parts, your scent or the sounds your body makes etc. - so why concern yourself with them? You simply cannot have truly satisfying, hot, animal sex if you are preoccupied with how your breasts are falling around your armpits or if your penis is as big as her last boyfriend's. Let's once and for all just live in the moment and throw all that self doubt and loathing out the window, shall we? Make love with all the lights turned up bright; scream and moan to your hearts content; give your lover a spanking when they're being naughty - whatever feels right at the moment. Do so, and you'll definitely discover such significant improvements in both your and your partner's sex lives you'll wonder what you were ever really worried about in the first place.

4. Selflessness

If you wish you were having better sex than you are currently enjoying, ask yourself if you are truly listening to your partner and responding to their desires. What does this have to do with it? Well, if you are actively working to satisfy your partner's needs, chances are that they will be more than willing to respond in kind. I suppose this harkens back to our initial point on communication… if you aren't certain of what your partner's desires are… you aren't effectively communicating with them. On the other hand, if you are bending over backwards (figuratively or literally) to satisfy your partner, while additionally communicating your needs effectively to them, and find yourself still unfulfilled, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your pairing.

5. Openness

If you think you are already among the world's greatest lovers - or that you have nothing left to really learn, you have just proved that you aren't. One of the defining attributes of a truly great lover is their commitment to becoming great. That's right, while you may have had great moments in past, you have to be aware that the only constant is change, and your ability to respond to it as concerns your partner's desires is an indicator of your potential for greatness. Just as your needs evolve, so do those of your partner's. You have to be willing to try new things… though they may seem unusual. Let's take a look at that word, "unusual". Why does it have a negative connotation? All it means is a departure from the norm… which as concerns sexuality is a good thing. In fact, an aspiring "great lover" does his or her best to avoid the establishment of a "norm" in the first place. While you may love pizza, it certainly would be tiring to eat everyday. It may even become tedious and boring to eat every Thursday…so mix it up! As this site is dedicated to providing you with the tools to do exactly that, you have no excuse!

6. Respect

Clearly, if you have been paying attention to the earlier points, you cannot help but to have respect for your partner and their wishes as concerns sexuality. Without respect, you have no desire to be selfless, listen and respond to your partner's needs, or be open to new ideas they may wish to introduce. Yet respect goes a little further than this. You have to acknowledge and adhere to your partner's boundaries, regardless of how conservative you may feel them to be. You may certainly communicate your desire to "push the envelope" as it were, but to impose your will upon someone who is unprepared or unwilling is definitely not among the hallmarks of a good lover.



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