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[1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
Erectile Dysfunction
Chapter 4
So what to do? If you do not fall into any of the above medical
categories, perhaps you might consider the following:
1. A partner who is understanding and patient is key to transcending
the current difficulties you are experiencing . If you are in a
long term committed relationship, this is obviously easier to do
than if your tryst is fresh. You might consider examining potential
causes of your temporary inability to perform (be it stress, whatever,
in light of the above) and explaining them to your partner. It is
often better in this situation to go through this discovery phase
with your mate. She might provide insight beyond your ability to
discern. The side benefit in this strategy is the fact that it places
your partner firmly in your corner and provides an ally in combating
the problem instead of a perceived adversary. Let's face it, the
majority of women would rather be supportive in aid of restoring
normal sexual relations than deal with an embarrassed, frustrated
man, while at the same time questioning their own desirability.
Most of the time, a negative reaction to a male's inability to perform
sexually from a female perspective is based on insecurity surrounding
perceived desirability and not a genuine disrespect for the male
involved. The "You're not a real man" (or some such nonsense)
reaction is generally just a defense mechanism which is based on
her insecurity surrounding body image. You of course totally circumvent
this reaction by responding to the inability to perform by saying
"Sweetheart, you're so beautiful, I don't know what the problem
is - obviously it's not you; maybe you can help me figure out what's
bothering me." or something to that effect. Unless your partner
is a total bitch, you will soon discover you are closer to her than
ever as a result of your candor in discussing intimate details about
yourself with her.
2. RELAX! This is not the end of the world! Chances are that this
is just a strange aberration in your otherwise normal healthy sexlife.
Do not beat yourself up. This kind of thing is extremely common,
so don't sweat it. You are not the first person to go through this
and you won't be the last. Treat it like you would a pimple. If
you were going to have a red blotch on your face for the rest of
your life you might have cause for concern, however, just like a
pimple, chances are this too shall fade into memory in short order.
If you stress out about it, you can practically guarantee that it
will become a more serious problem than it otherwise might be.
3. Spend a lot more time on foreplay. Do not look at intercourse
as the final and ultimate objective of your lovemaking - try not
to be so goal oriented in this respect. Concentrate instead on doing
things for you and your partner that simply feel good and underline
your affection for each other. Your partner will typically be more
appreciative of your ministrations in any event. There are few women
indeed that complain about lengthy foreplay! This will help you
relax and definitely increase your odds of attaining an erection.
Try slowing things down considerably. Perhaps start out with a sensuous
massage and just see where it leads. This is not a polar expedition
after all… you don't have to plant a flag.
Continue
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