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[1, 2]

Common Male Fantasies
Chapter 2

Another general area of male fantasy, while lacking in significant imagination to warrant being given much attention, can be summarized and possibly dealt with summarily under the heading of 'Parts'. While women understandably resent the way men routinely separate them into breasts, thighs, legs etc., like so many chickens, never the less, this constitutes for many men enough of a hook on which to hang a teensy fantasy. So, for instance, a man whose partner has small breasts may fantasize about women with big breasts. Not all men, but some. And a man whose partner has short legs may fantasize about women with long legs. Men who have brunette partners may fantasize about redheads, and so on and so on. Enough said.

Often, men's sexual fantasies are the result of very early sexual awakenings experienced during childhood. As such, these are often quite unique and very specific, but may be difficult for a partner to understand, indeed are sometimes difficult for the men themselves to understand in that they are born of a child's perspective, and are often formed in advance of a working understanding of sex. A prepubescent sexual reaction to a teacher for example, a not uncommonly reported event in many men's lives, can resurface later in our adult lives as a fantasy involving an authority figure, a boss, or a police officer for instance.

A relatively common fantasy among men, which we will refer to as 'school girl' fantasy, which simply involves wanting to see the object of his desire dressed in a plaid skirt, white blouse, and knee socks, often gives women a bad feeling and makes them question whether their lover is a pedophile. In fact, this fantasy is much more common among men than is pedophilia, and may simply hearken back to an early, non-specific sexual feeling we had about a classmate in grade school- That funny feeling we got between our legs when being teased by Jenny Kerplotnik.

While pedophilia is a deviant behavior, and one that, like rape, is dangerous and more about power and victimization than sexuality, it would be counterproductive to let our repugnance of this type of behavior prevent us from exploring the wealth of healthy sexual fantasy that can be derived from the earliest awareness of our sexuality. Fantasy is an important and valid component of healthy sexual expression. Sex, like art, is an individual human expression, and as such is not something that neatly falls into categories of right and wrong. Just as the Mona Lisa would have less appeal if Leonardo had done the same painting 320 times, it is normal for people to seek variation in sexual expression as well. Fantasy helps us achieve that variety.

Any fantasy which preoccupies one's attention, or which a person feels compelled to act upon can be referred to as compulsion, and may be cause for concern. Compulsive behaviors can become problematic and may require the person suffering from the compulsive behavior to enlist the help of a professional counselor. This is however another subject and warrants a more complete discussion on its own. For an article discussing the nature and treatment of sexual compulsions, please click here.


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