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Obsessive Compuslsive Sex

When do your sexual proclivities or preferences cross over from the realm of passion to compulsion? What is the difference between a fantasy and a fetish? It is a judgment call. As the saying goes; "One man's meat is another man's poison."

The key factor is probably to assess the impact that a particular behavior is having on you, and your partner. Ask yourself these simple questions, and answer truthfully:

1. Is it a problem for you?
2. Is it a problem for your partner?

If you answered "no" both times, then all is probably well with you. Compulsive behaviours are ones over which we have no control. That is the significant qualifier. The subject or content of the compulsion is not necessarily the issue. If however you think you might be compulsive, there are remedies. Just as gambling might be an innocuous leisure activity for most people, for approximately 5% of the population it is a compulsive behaviour. Some researchers estimate that obsessive-compulsive disorders (OCD) could be affecting as many as 1 adult in 50, and approximately half that amount in children. The cost of failing to recognize and deal with an obsessive-compulsive behavior can be very high indeed. In terms of relationships, a compulsive person risks, at the least, becoming distant and estranged from their partner, to the worst-case scenario where they may in fact seriously hurt themselves or others.

An example of a fairly common sexual obsession is sexual addiction. The sufferers of this particular compulsive behaviour are unable to stop having sex. This might not sound like a problem to some, but make no mistake, it can have devastating effects. The motive for doing this is not necessarily pleasure as it would be in a normal person, but rather like an inability to say no to sex, like a drug addict to drugs. The obsession with sex has made their lives unmanageable.

Other compulsive behaviors involve inflicting pain, on oneself or another person. If you have images or thoughts that you find disturbing when you are engaged in sexual activity, or if you experience sexual arousal when viewing pornographic material that you think is inappropriate, then you have reason to be concerned. This is not to say that you are necessarily suffering from a disorder, but it is a warning sign. Sometimes we may be simply renegotiating what is acceptable behaviour for us. If, for instance you were brought up in a fanatical environment which was sexually repressive, you might just genuinely need to reassess the moral values and codes that were imprinted on you in your childhood, in order to function sexually in a healthy fashion. So if you are unsure which it is, again, ask yourself if you think that your interest in a sexual idea is bad, or dangerous to you or anyone else.

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