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More Tantric Sex - Practical Application
Chapter 2
The next time you try this again, you will hopefully recognize
the signs of your impending orgasm and will be ready to try and
'ride the wave'. Slow down and try just letting one or two contractions
pass. You needn't think of brick walls, being out in a rainstorm,
or anything so unpleasant or banal. Just try relaxing your abdominal
muscles and belly breathing slowly. Remain attuned to what you are
experiencing. If you find your orgasm proceeding despite your attempts,
relax and let it come. It can be painful and is not advised to try
and stop an orgasm that is in full swing. Like surfing, riding the
wave isn't easy, and you are bound to 'splash' a few times before
you get the hang of it. Patience and practice are the keys here.
In time you will find that you can allow a couple of contractions
to pass, and stay on the crest of the wave without going over. After
some time experimenting with this technique, the sensation will
become more and more familiar, and you will gain even more control
over your orgasmic response. You are teaching your mind to take
control of connections with muscular systems that are normally controlled
involuntarily. It takes time, but it can be done. It is not unlike
biofeedback techniques, and will proceed in due course if you can
remain relaxed. That is why I advise trying the first rounds on
your own. It takes enough focus on your own body, that it might
be distracting, and quite possibly unfulfilling as well, for someone
else to be there. In time though, you can well imagine that acquiring
control over this aspect of your own sexual response could have
major dividends for you and your lover(s).
When you feel comfortable enough with your progress, and comfortable
enough with your partner, you will probably want to try this together.
Great. But be prepared to be as patient. She'll probably need to
develop some self awareness too, and while it is hard enough to
focus on yourself to this extent, it is another challenge again
to develop the same degree of awareness of another person's level
of arousal. Eventually though, with patience and practice you will
be as aware of each other's exact position on the map of your mutual
passion, that you will each be able to bring the other right to
the edge of an orgasm, then draw back if you wish, and ride the
'wave of bliss' together.
The spiritual part of tantric sex teaching would be advising here
to check your ego. It is about control, yes, but it can only work
properly if there is genuine respect and real intimacy. You may
each offer to send the other 'over the top' sometimes, but if you
respect the idea that each can choose their own path on this shared
adventure, you will derive much more pleasure from the experience.
You will find yourself taking control sometimes, and giving it over
at others. If you continue with this technique, you will in time
likely not even notice who is 'driving the bus'.
Good luck with your experiments. Keep it up. (pun intended)
For an exceptional book on Tantric Sex see:
Divine Sex: The Tantric & Taoist Arts of Conscious Loving at Amazon.
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