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[1, 2, 3]
Getting that First Date
Chapter 2
Now that you've had a chance to think of what you're into, it's
probably not a bad idea to consider the other person. After all,
if it isn't really important how the other person feels then why
bother at all, right? Do they seem the shy sort, or are they more
outgoing? Either way, any direct reference to a date is unlikely
to put them at ease, if it comes right out of left field. It is
always good to start with simple conversation. This signals that
you are able to communicate, which bodes well for any future relationship,
and assures your intended that you are capable of both sending and
receiving… good news for them.
Depending on your personality, you might try any one of thousands
of opening lines to engage someone in conversation. The context
of your meeting might suggest something. Did you meet at work; the
grocery store; a record store; or school perhaps? Pick a topic of
known mutual interest to engage them initially. Something like this
perhaps: "Oh, I see you're buying the Dead Kennedys CD. I think
Jello Biafra is quite a brilliant lyricist. Do you ever listen to….blah
blah blah."? See how easy this is? One tip though, is to try
and avoid asking questions that can be answered with a simple yes
or no. People sometimes revert to simple yes and no responses out
of nervousness at being spoken too by someone new, which will sound
dismissive to you, even though it may not be at all. If you remember
this, you will soon have a real conversation going.
Remember to look the person in the eye when talking to them. The
eyes are capable of saying more than words sometimes. Look at them,
and be seen by them. Besides, it's rude to look elsewhere when you
talk to someone. Didn't your mother tell you that? Smile too!
Depending on how you want to proceed, you have a few options at
this point. If all seems to be going well, the person is looking
back at you, smiling back at you, and talking with you, then great.
You may want to suggest that you get together. It's usually better
to have some ideas where to go with someone in advance if you're
at all nervous, as this can be an awkward moment. Again, use some
judgment, and if it's going sort of awkwardly, don't give up, but
maybe opt for a cup of coffee over a dinner date right out of the
chute. Don't be in a big rush.
Continue
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