Body Language
What makes body language so intriguing to the single person, is
the fact that our bodies seldom lie. We may say one thing with our
lips, but the savvy interpreter of 'Kinesics' as it is known, will
understand our true meaning every time. Language is a relatively
recent phenomenon in the domain of human communication. We'd been
getting along for quite some time already when we suddenly gained
the power of verbalization in the form of words. Curiously though,
communicating our true feelings has not necessarily been terribly
advanced by the advent of speech. It turns out that our old ways
tell a much truer tale regarding our feelings when it comes to the
opposite sex. Anthropological linguists, the experts on human communication,
generally hold that verbal communication is most effective for the
transmission of information, whereas kinesics, the language of the
body, is much more accurate at conveying our feelings.
There are several proofs of this you may observe the next time
you are involved in a one on one with a member of the other sex.
The first and most obvious cue that tells how we really feel is
facial expression. Two sentences of the exact same composition can
have very different, in fact opposite meanings depending on the
facial clues. Let's say for example you ask the best fried of a
female you are interested in how the object of your desire really
feels about you. She replies as follows: "Linda thinks you
are a really terrific guy." If she responds first with a half-hearted
sort of smile, and bites her lip while telling you this, too bad
chump. Look elsewhere for Ms. right. The biting of a lip says these
lips are telling you more than you are hearing with your ears. The
next word you will likely hear from them is 'but'. If this message
is delivered however with a genuine smile, I mean a really 'zygomatic'
smile, then you can contemplate asking Linda out and reasonably
expect a favorable response. A zygomatic smile is the real item,
a genuine heartfelt smile that involves upturned corners of the
mouth, wrinkling at the eyes, or crow's feet, and utilizes very
many more facial muscles than we can easily control voluntarily.
It is therefore virtually impossible to fake the zygomatic smile,
and most of us, while not necessarily knowing it, can distinguish
it from its poor cousin, the phony-ass (our scientific term) smile.
When gauging the level of interest we arouse in a person we are
sexually attracted too, we are reading, and dispatching these cues,
simultaneously, and unconsciously, often with quite remarkable accuracy.
We are, in fact, flirting. The conversation might be trivial
but much more is being communicated through subtle, and not so subtle
gestures, and postures. These too can be understood and mastered,
as evidenced by the phenomenon of the 'consummate flirt' we have
all met before. He or she may even be physically unattractive, but
somehow always seems able to command the attention of the opposite
sex, and always has someone gorgeous on their arm, or in their bed.
This person speaks body language. They may not appeal to everyone,
but they know who is interested in them and who isn't. They simply
don't waste time with those that aren't interested in them, and
therefore appear to have infinite charm.
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