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[1, 2, 3]
Separating Sex and Love
Chapter 3
Now that we have looked at various reasons many have sex without
being in love, it is also important to note that our needs, both
physical and emotional, change throughout the years depending what
stage of our lives we are at. For example, in our early 20's many
young people going to college or university aren't really looking
for a serious relationship, opting instead to address their physical
needs. The same goes for people who are a little older and perhaps
recently divorced. Chances are they aren't looking to jump into
a new relationship just yet, but rather to satisfy their physical
need or simply their desire for company. People that are at the
point in their lives where they are looking for a serious relationship
generally keep their sights on an emotionally based reason for sex.
That is not to say, however, that there might not be the odd time
when the physical need for sex becomes overwhelming and they take
a little sexual detour with a fling before stepping back on the
path to looking for love.
What about when we are in love, and we are either not having sex,
or having unfulfilling sex? This isn't a very good situation to
be in. If it is real, true love, hopefully you can communicate and
get yourselves back on track. Unfortunately, when there is love
without sex, or with bad sex, it is often a sign of love gone bad.
The relationship may be falling apart and difficulties in the bedroom
where there were none before are usually only a symptom of deeper
trouble.
Now that we have seen that for better or worse, there is a lot
of sex without love and love without sex going on, let's actually
take a look at the possibility of having sex with someone you love.
Those in this situation know that it's a great place to be. Even
though your mother might have had ulterior motives, she was correct
when she said that sex actually does mean a lot more with someone
you love. Making love to someone you adore is the one of the most
rewarding activities in the world. It fulfills all levels of emotional
and physical need and nothing beats it.
Having said that, we can conclude that love and sex can indeed
be, and often are, separate. As long as you recognize what your
personal needs truly are, and strive to address them, then sex without
love is just fine and can be quite fulfilling. If on the other hand
you are reserving yourself for your true love, you won't be disappointed
when you finally find it. Maybe this is what our mothers had in
mind when they told us to wait when we were teenagers. She probably
knew that lovemaking with someone close to your heart borders on
magical and she was probably hoping that some day we would be lucky
enough to experience it too.
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