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How To End A Relationship

Deciding that you no longer want to be dating or married to someone is a rather dicey thing in the first place. The longer that you have been in the relationship, the harder it becomes, and more is at stake. If you are married, have investments and children together, you want to make absolutely certain that there is no other choice left to you. In this day and age, we all seem to think that anything (and anyone) is replaceable. We are a rather fickle lot. It is very worthwhile mentioning at this point that most things can be worked out if both partners whole-heartedly put in their best efforts towards saving the relationship. If your decision to break up will affect or potentially hurt other people, you should only consider ending it as very last resort.

The first important choice to be made is deciding whether you really have no alternate solution and that you absolutely, positively can not look at your partners face for the rest of your life. Make sure that you're not simply ticked-off with the other person over some trivial incident. It's hard, but try and keep issues in perspective. During a fit of rage, you generally are not thinking rationally and should not tell your partner that it is over (although in reality, it seems that most people have done this at least once!). If you do this, the consequences are usually quite bad. These are the two most common:

1-You will have to eat your words after you make-up, or
2- Your partner will actually leave you when that isn't really what you had intended.

Once you are sure that splitting up is definitely what you want, there are many different ways to go about doing it. If your spouse has done something extreme, for example telling you that they robbed a bank or killed someone, then it is quite simple. Tell them to get out and that you never want to see them again. No discussion is required - but you might want to call the police. This fortunately doesn't happen very often and so it's almost never that cut and dried.

There are some basic guidelines to follow when you want to break up with someone. The first is, don't beat around the bush! Just say it. At this point you will get one of four reactions:
1- absolute silence (sometimes followed by your new ex walking out the door),
2-a fit of sadness and tears,
3- a fit of rage (this one can be dangerous!), or
4-a calm, level headed "why".
It is a good idea to have an idea beforehand about which response that you're going to get in order to plan the rest of the event.


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