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Great Lines

As my good friend Billy the Bard once said: "All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players." (As You Like It: 11, vi) Billy kind of talked funny, but he knew a thing or two about people, and understood the power of words. So if you want to be a player, you're going to have to learn your lines.

Outside of cocaine addicts, men seeking women are the largest consumers of lines on the planet. But verbal intercourse can be as complex and varied as any other kind, and so just as one position or act will not suffice to satisfy the needs of all women, nor will one line. It may get you a foot in the door, but that's about it. Many are the times I've seen a man with his foot in the door one moment, only to end up with it in his mouth the next. On occasion in their haste to get the old Colt out of the holster I've seen them actually shoot themselves in the foot. Ah, but I am "Straining upon the start, the game's afoot." (King Henry V: 111, I) So without further "Sweet, adieu. I'll keep my oath." (Merchant of Venice: 11, ix)

Actually, Shakespeare was no slouch at this sort of thing. Even today a well-placed quote from the bard can still work the old magic, depending on how and where it is deployed of course. Try this one on the little hottie with the glasses in English-Lit perhaps. " Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate." Or if something wicked this way comes, you can always revamp these old classics and bring them into the 21st century. Try this out. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day. Thou art hot, and maketh me sweaty."

Okay, its great stuff I know, but maybe you just don't see yourself as a Shakespeare kind of I guy. I understand. How about this one then? This is a favourite of mine because it works best on incredibly gorgeous, sexy women. Just make that smoldering eye contact from across the room. Let your gaze drip slowly down her body like a melting ice cream cone. But don't smile yet. Fix on her eyes with a purposeful stare and begin to move toward her. Walk right up to her. Closer. Wait a second or two, then say in a serious but soft tone, without taking your eyes from hers: "If I told you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Wait now. Wait…Okay now smile. Say, "Please." She's either smiling too, or she's hit you already.

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