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[1, 2, 3]
Discussing Contraception with a New Partner
Chapter 2
If the woman is on the birth control pill should you still bother
with a condom? Yes! Other birth control does not protect against
STD's such as HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and many others.
It is important to remember that even wearing a condom won't necessarily
protect you from herpes if your partner is having an outbreak. The
sores are often in places not covered by a condom, such as the scrotum
on a man, or the outer labia on a woman. Also, if the condom breaks
during intercourse, you should go and have yourself checked out
by your doctor.
Once you have been together for a longer period of time and feel
that the relationship is going well, you may feel comfortable enough
to talk to your partner about what variety of protection you are
going to continue to use together. Even if you don't feel comfortable
talking about it, you really have to just bite the bullet and do
it. Remember to be sensitive to your partner's needs and recognize
that if your partner brings the subject up, that they are making
an important attempt at communication. Try to remain objective,
in order that you might discuss it in an honest, open fashion.
If you the two of you are not especially fond of using condoms
and don't want to continue using them, you'll have to find an alternate
form of birth control and ascertain that neither of you have any
communicable diseases in advance. I strongly suggest at this point
that both of you go to either your doctor or your local sexual health
clinic and have yourselves examined to ensure that neither of you
have an STD. You should also get tested for HIV at the same time.
Often you have to request this test, or it will not be performed.
The presence of HIV is determined by taking a blood sample, so some
doctors will have you go to a lab to have this done. If your partner
asks you to prove to him or her that you have no communicable diseases,
don't be insulted. They are not insinuating that you are promiscuous;
they are simply protecting themselves. The number of people that
have had an STD in their lifetime is staggeringly high, and in many
cases there are no visible signs. As a result, many people don't
even know that they are infected and may be unwittingly spreading
the disease to others.
While you are awaiting your results confirming that you have a
clean bill of health (it might take a number of weeks, even months
for the HIV, for all the results to come in) you must discuss what
kind of birth control that you are going to use once you are no
longer restricted to condoms. As you probably already know, most
of the available contraceptives are designed for the female use,
and as a result, she may have strong feelings on which methods she
prefers. The decision to choose the best contraceptive for you will
also depend on your overall health, age and various other factors
best determined by you and your clinician.
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