Discussing Contraception with a New Partner
When you first start dating, it is hard enough to know how long
to wait before having intercourse with someone; then when you finally
do, the whole birth control/STD prevention issue comes up. Now normally,
most people don't have a great big discussion about planning their
first sexual encounter with a new partner. This is not something
that is clear cut and laid out as to what is going to happen and
when. The way it usually goes is that you go out on a number of
dates together and maybe you make out a bit. When you feel comfortable
enough with the other person and the sexual tension builds up to
the point where you can no longer resist, is usually when you have
sex for the first time together.
Let's assume that you've been out a number of times for dinner
and have now gone back to one or the other of your respective homes.
You cozy up on the couch and end up embracing; one thing leads to
another and you find yourselves undressed and wanting to have sex.
Are you going to get into a big discussion about birth control right
then and there? It is highly unlikely and would completely ruin
the mood. So what do you do, as unprotected sex with a new partner
is (or at least should be) out of the question in this day and age?
One of you had better have brought a condom along, or else no further
contact between you should happen. Usually the lady waits to see
if the man offers to provide this form of prophylactic. It is a
good idea to carry some in your wallet or purse with you just in
case this very type of situation occurs. Ladies, don't just assume
that it is the man's responsibility; it is just as easy for you
to pick them up at the drugstore as it is for him. If at this point
one of you has a condom, great; if not the whole event will have
to be postponed. I realize that sometimes it can be hard to stop
if you are getting heated up and you have no condom. There are people
that will say "It's okay, I'll pull out in time" or "I
just got checked out last week" or a million other reasons
that are intended to make you give in. I don't care if it's the
guy or the girl that won't give up; say no, it is just not worth
the risk. If you really need a release for the tension, try mutual
masturbation at this point.
Some men may refuse to wear a condom because they say it reduces
the sensation and doesn't feel as good. Well guys, this may be true,
but there's no problem, it will prolong the amount of time it takes
you to have an orgasm and let's face it, most women want it to last
longer anyways. Or alternatively guys, tell her to wear a female
condom and it won't feel as restrictive; it doesn't really matter
which one of you wears it, both the male and female condoms have
their good and bad points. Either way, as the poster at the doctor's
offices says "No glove, no love." After all, isn't wearing
a condom preferable to not having sex?
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